This post actually necessitated a brand new blog cause my previous blog was dead for all practical reasons and also was dedicted to a cynic who would not have appreciated this post. The galvanizing force behind actually putting the finger tip to key board was remembrance post from Krishashok.
Being born to a mother with significant malayalam influence Tamil New Year in our house is fused with Vishu. So on this day ( Dear Mr. Mu Ka , I care a “F” if you think April 14 is not a new year) my mother gave me Rs.500 for Vishu Kani and same to my Punjabi wife but my lucky daughter who is yet to learn counting beyond 20 got Rs.1000. On end of enquiry commission it was revealed that my daughter has been talking about buying herself a Ben 10 Watch and her friends had told her it costs Rs.1000( May be a later post on child economics) and this grant was towards fulfilling that wish. This gesture of from my parents was very normal and I am assuming gets repeated in all modern households with different denomination of grant. On the surface this was a simple action but in my case coupled with the post from Krishashok on influence of his paati on his life and philosophy left me to feel the void.
My Paternal grandparents were dead long before my parents entered holy matrimony , considering they were product of the 40s and 50s did not allow me a chance to meet my grandparents from that wing. As I write this post I just realized I have not even seen them in photograph either. My maternal grandfather only lived long enough to at least leave a mental image of him for me and may ammamma for all practical reason believes she gave birth only to my chitti and that is only valid family she has. I have spent toal of 4 vacations in my life with my maternal grand parents and have no memory whatsoever of that period . Also may be I can add my once in three year visits to Chennai when I spend 40 minutes at my chitti house to ask my ammamma how she is doing. I made it a practice to leave a Rs. 500 or Rs. 1000 for her expenses and which I am told before my car would have left the street would have gone into hands of my cousin for her churidhar benevolent fund.
This effectively left me with no memories , no childhood indulgences and in effect no influence of my grandparents from either side. From what I hear of both grandfathers and knowing my ammamma I think I am perfectly at peace with not having their influence but I am sure I would have loved to meet my paati. What I miss about not being around grand parents which both my appa& amma and mummy&papa ( My wife might chance upon this blog) are showering on my daughter is unambiguous clemency. I missed my grandparents the most when I left my tiffen box in school , when I broke our window pane , when I bashed up a classmate or worse when I failed in 3rd Standard maths examination. These were the red letter days in my formative years , as on each of this occassion my mom summoned the inner strength of women and turned into a really powerful physical force. The failing in 3rd standard had got my really mild mannered father also activated for first time in life, you see accepting academic failure for a Iyer father is an unheard event. Grandparents in my view bring a prejudice and bias to child rearing which are very helpful if you are a child and I truly miss that. See the way I was as a child with serious propensity for mischief and violence logic always would ensure that I get the stick and this is when biased grandparents ensure that they take you away from harms way i.e a screaming mother with iddukki in her hand.
I miss you both the taata’s and one paati and ammamma I wish you you liked my mom then may be you would have liked me.